Joy & Pain

I finally understood.

It has been a month since we last spoke

There has been joy..

There has been pain..

Joy..like flying in the sky

Pain..like falling down to the ground

Making my body and heart break into pieces

Heartache

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart
It means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life…
You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something silly one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase can turn into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind.
It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
- Neil Gaiman-

The Missing Rib

Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?

The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while.
However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became mundane.
All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each time, the quarrels became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined to leave him.
"If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own life partners." The boy agreed to the divorce.

Five years went by...
He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them.

Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye.
Good bye...

One week later, he heard of her death. She had dies in New York, in the event that shocked the world. Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. Then, he finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous. We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done.

Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.
Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept what you have today

The Runaways

Article on Caktal's blog shows a unique case of love :

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This love story that shook Turkey happens in a small village called Konya.
On 11th Dec, Kaltum Arslan, a widow and 80-year-old grandmother, was reported missing by her grandchildren.

As reported by the Turkish news, the story started when Kaltum became acquainted with an 80 year old widower named Kazim Yıldız
They first met each other when they went to town to take the welfare money for the elderly. It was said that both of them felt an immediate attraction to each other. They had a talk and somehow it did not end there. Love blossomed into something more serious and they decided to get married.

But, their plan did not go smoothly. Kaltum's children and grandchildren refused to acknowledged Kazim and was completely against the marriage. After much argument, things seems to return back to normal and no talk of wedding were heard anymore.

On December 10th, Kaltum told her family that she was going to the clinic for health check up. However, she never came back. Kaltum's grandson went to the clinic and a check with the staff there confirmed that no patient by the name of 'Kaltum' had registered there on that day. The family reported to the police about the missing grandmother.

After 3 days of search, Kalthum was finally found at her lover's house, Kazim Yildiz.
Kaltum refused to go back to her own house unless she can get married to Kazim. After much discussion and arguments, the family finally relented and agreed to the marriage. The wedding will be held early next year'

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Cat : The conclusion? Well, hmm.. :
a) Cupid must have been bored and decided to have a bit of fun (smile)
b) Love knows no boundaries or age limit..and it can certainly hit anyone especially when you least expect it.
c) Parents are like us too : They have their own insecurities, dreams, hopes and needs that are separate from ours. Some let go of those dreams to replace it with responsibility and their children' happiness.
d) Ooo..this (d) one is for cat. hmm..

Love Beyond Words

My husband is a scientist by profession. I loved him for his alert nature, and the warm feeling when I leaned against his broad shoulders.

Three years in courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of this marriage. The reasons of me loving him before have now transformed into the reasons of all the restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings.
I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. But my husband is just a contrast
of me. His lack of sensitivity and inability to bring romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me
about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision that I wanted a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shockingly. 

"I am tired. There aren't reasons for everything in the world." I answered.
He kept silent the whole night. Seemed to be in deep thoughts the whole night with a cigarette lit all the time.

My feelings of disappointment were getting intensed . A man who can't even express his detainment. What else
can I hope from him? And finally he asked :" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right!
It's hard to change a person's personality. And I guess I had started losing faith in him.
Looking deeply into his eyes , I slowly answered  : "Here is a question.If you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind. Let's say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both know that making you pick it will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"
He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...."
My heart just sank from hearing his reply.

The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratching writing, with a glass of warm milk under it. It read....

Dear wife,
"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to further explain the reasons." This first lines had already broken my heart. I continued reading. "You only type with computers and always mess up the programs in our PC, then cry in front of screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind. I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love travelling, but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to lead you the way.

You always get cramps whenever your "that time of month" comes. I have to save my palm so that I can
calm the cramp in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors. And I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth
to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that does no good to your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that
when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to removed those annoying white hairs.

I will hold your hand while strolling down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands, and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face.

Thus , dear , before I am sure there is someone else who loves you more than I do, I will not pick the flower and die from it. "

My tears dropped on the letter, and blurred the ink of his hand writing. Then I resumed my reading...

"And now, dear, you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open
the door of our house. I am standing there with your favorite bread and fresh milk.

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.

Oh! I am sure no one ever loves me as much. And now I have decided to leave the flower alone.

That's life, or some say love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement may fade away, and one may tend to ignore the fact that true love lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows in any form, even in a very little and corny form.It has never been a model.It can be the most incurious form.. . flowers. Romantic moments are only the buckish form on the surface of the relationship.
Under all these,the pillar of true love stands. And that's our life.

Love Declaration

Him: I like to see the moon and stars at night.
Her: I love to look at the night sky too. They look so pretty and mesmerizing..and at the same time calming.
Him: You know..someday, I would love to watch the stars with someone that I love..
Her: That person is so lucky..
Him: Will you watch the stars and the moon with me..like..forever?"
Her: Yes..i would love to. Been waiting for you to ask me for years..

I hid my feelings for you for a long time
the way a branch hides its
slowly ripening fruit among leaves,
and like a flower crystal of ice
on a winter window
you open in my mind.
In my heart I keep
the sparkle of your eyes
the tender warmth of your smile
the small tilt of your head
the delicate curves of your soft body
and I dream
dream of holding you close
caring for you, protecting you
and loving you always.

A look at Love..

Sigmund Freud said:
Love is always an overvaluation.
When we love someone, we tend to project our own needs and feelings on to them. We see the object of our love as something larger, more wonderful, more amazing, more worthy of love than they truly are. When love fades, we begin to see that someone in a different light altogether...
__________________________________
W H Auden said :
On the contrary, when we love someone, we see them as what they truly are. It is this reality that we fall in love with. So, to truly know someone, you must love them first.

**********************************
I would say:

Love certainly has different textures.
A person's idea of love has a lot to do with what he/she has experienced.
In Freud: Love is blind. You first fall in love with an illusion, put on a pedestal created by your mind
In Auden: Love should begin with friendship. The more you know of a person that you like, the more possibility that you will fall in love with that person.

Side By Side

The longer we lived, the more burden we will have to carry.
You just cannot do as you like,
That is why we need someone who is willing to share the burden
In order to continue walking down this path.
With you by my side
The burden seems lighter..
As we face whatever difficulties together..

Dreams

We may be surrounded by many people, but we may still feel lonely. We may have whatever that money can buy, but we may still feel empty. We can afford many things others can only dream of, but we only want that one thing we can never get. Blessings come in disguises they say, but we only love our obvious favorite mistakes.

We dream of walking along the expensive street of Champs-Elysees towards that majestic ferris wheel holding hands with our loved one. The smile on her face is so pretty it makes us oblivious to everybody else. We dream of sitting at the beautiful garden facing the magnificent Eiffel Tower during the festival nights when they put on the crystal lights so beautiful they glimmer in her huge adorable eyes. The winter nights are so cold it is so comfortable to be in each other's arms. The kiss from her lips so tender it takes our breath away.

The twilight of dawn is so romantic it makes The Eye Of London an eye of a divine being blessing these star crossed lovers. The chill of gloomy autumn makes the suite room so cozy we become so lazy to wake up it is so nice being in the warmth of somebody we love more than ourselves. Chatting and hugging away cheerfully while walking across the busy streets of Piccadilly Circus makes our time spent together a lifetime remembrance. Coming to a warm and comfortable room and making love after a nice warm shower makes us complete.

We have become so emotionally dependent the slightest betrayals destroy us. The absolute love we have built shattered like a glass upon distrust and dishonesty. We argue upon things we know too trivial compared to our togetherness but yet we are so oblivious between right from wrong. We have gone astray. This is where we end.

We wake up from these beautiful dreams alone in our beds with wet pillows from our tears. We realize what we could have achieved together had we even considered forgiveness to each other. A love so beautiful, greater even than life itself, we let go even before we realize we cannot live without each other. This is where hope is gone.

We cherish what we have while we still have it for when it is gone we may never have it again. We let go of those desires that are too risky to be fulfilled because we are too afraid to lose the only thing that really matters in our lives.

We fill our relationship with a love so strong nothing can take it away from us. We should not let anything to come between us. This is where love is forever.

Time for Love

So what is love? Hard to define.
Easier for us to give definition to what is a relationship rather than what is love. A relationship is a rational, conscious and calculated decision to put someone else's well being above your own. A commitment to stay true to one person despite the human failings of uncontrollable attraction, distractions and other trying situations. It is a disciplined and conscious effort to honor that person's feelings and needs above one's own. Commitments.

Love? Some would say that love is a rush of biochemicals, pining for that someone or also the feeling of the tightening of the loins. Love could also be the inexplicable feeling you get when you meet someone special. A beautiful and unique feeling when you found someone to share it with. Feelings.

One is lucky when they can combined the two together: Love and commitment in a relationship. Working both ways, both sides entering a commitment with eyes wide open, believing and working to make it better. What is true love, if not a joining of intimacy in heart, body and soul?

I found love when I found you...

I Love You

You know how easily and suddenly these things happen..
Beginning in playful teasing and ending in something a little warmer than friendship. You squeeze the slender arm which is passed through yours, you venture to take the little gloved hand, you say good night at absurd length in the shadow of the door.
How innocent and very interesting, love trying his wings in a first little flutter...
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What do you say when someone you love says that you are the most wonderful thing that has happened to him?
What do you say when he has given the most valuable gift that he has to you?
What do you say when he has proved that action speaks louder than words?
What do you say when you are so happy and tears are gathering at the corner of your eyes? When the throat tightens..and when he has said all the things that you wanted to say to him? What do you say when he thanks you for loving him?

If words left you and emotions becomes too strong and you can't think of anything to reply, just say : 'I Love You'

Two Hearts Apart

Both of them loved going to the beach. Lit by the evening sunset, the deserted place looks heavenly calm. As she stands at the water edge, the waves splashing around her ankle, her face had a faraway look on it. Lost in her thoughts.

Hugging herself, she asks herself for the hundred time:'Why did I say all that to him? Why did I ask him to forget me? Why did I hurt his feelings?' At first she had a lot of reasons for pretending that she did not care about him anymore. But now all those reasons seems stupid. At first those reasons seemed valid and strong. Now, it all seems useless. She saw him just now, laughing with his friends. Is he better off without her?

She was confused. Did not know what to do. Dare she pick up the phone and call him? Would it be ok if she e-mailed him? What would he say? Would he still want her? She heard that he has a family now. What right has she to contact him again after all this while?
*****************************************
He stands at the beach on the other side of hotel, looking at the sea. He saw her again today. What is she doing here, he wonders. He knows that she saw him too. The look in her eyes when she spotted him was enough to send arrows into his heart.

He remembered the day that she said she did not want to see him again. He did not know the reason why. She just told him to leave her alone and said goodbye. She only thought of him as friends.

He remembered feeling sick. How could he be 'just friends' with her? He loved her then and still does now. But, how does she feels about him? He is not sure.

What if he picked up the phone and call her? What would she say? Would she hurt his feelings again? He will not be able to take it again for the 2nd time. His heart aches for her but he was more afraid that she would not want him in her life. Dare he call her?

Looking into the Future..

It's not gonna be easy.
It's gonna be really hard.
We're gonna have to work at this every day, but keep in mind that I want to do that because I want you.
I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.
Will you do something for me, please?
Just picture your life for me?
Thirty years from now, forty years from now?
What's it look like? If it's with him- go. Go!
I lost you once, I think I can do it again, if I thought that's what you really wanted...
-The Notebook-

Lost Love

An old couple around the age of 70, went to a lawyer's office,to file a divorce.

The couple had been quarreling all their 40 over years of marriage over nothing and everything. They hang on to the marriage because of their children, afraid that a divorce might upset the children. Now, all their children have grown up and left. There's nothing else for the old couple to worry about. They wanted each to lead their own life, free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage.

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband :
"I actually love you, my dear, but I really can't carry on with our marriage anymore. I'm so sorry.."
"Its ok, I understand.." said the husband.
The lawyer suggested for them to have dinner together, just 3 of them for the last time. The wife agreed since they are still going to be friends after this.

During dinner, there was a moment of awkward silence.
The first dish was roasted chicken. Immediately, the old man took the drumstick and put it on the old lady's plate. "Take this, its your favorite"

Looking at this, the lawyer thought that maybe there's still a chance for reconciliation, but the wife was frowning when she answered:
'This has always been the problem. You always think of yourself and never gave a thought about how I feel. Don't you know that i hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying very hard to please her. Drumstick was actually the husband's favorite. And all this while he had thought that she too prefers the drumstick. He always save that part for her. Little did he know that she hated drumstick. All he wanted was the best for her.

That night, both of them couldn't sleep. This was the first time that they sleep away from each other. After a few hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore. He knows that he still loves her.She was his first love and he can't carry on without her. He wanted to tell her that he is sorry. He wanted to tell her that he loves her..

He picked up the phone, started dialing her number but there was no answer. He kept on dialing. At the other end, the old lady was sad too. She was thinking that after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all. She loves him, but felt disappointed. The phone rang but she refuses to answer it, knowing that it would only be him. "What is the point of talking, now that it's over between us. I have asked for a divorce and now i want to keep it this way.' She thought. She pulled the phone's cord from the wall.

The next day, the old lady heard that he had passed away. She rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone. He had had a heart attack. A few days later, the old lady went to his belongings. Going through the drawers, she found an insurance policy, dated from the day they got married with her name on it as beneficiary. And together in those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife. By the time you're reading this, I'm sure I would no longer be around. I bought this policy for you. Though the amount is only $100k, I hope it would be enough to help me continue the promise that I made when we got married. I might not be around anymore but I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like I would have done if I live longer. I want you to know I will always be around, by your side, forever. I love you"
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Learn to love each other. For who they are.. not what they are

The Ring

A girl was sitting on a chair at the gas station she worked at.

She looked up and saw her boyfriend walked in. They exchanged smiles and he signaled to her that he would be at the back area waiting for her to finish her shift. As he was looking at the snacks, a man walked in and pointed a gun at her. He had been admiring the ring that her boyfriend had given to her as a token of his love.
When the man told her to hand it over, the girl refused. Her boyfriend heard a sound, looked up from where he was standing..just at the moment the man shoot at her. The boyfriend ran to her and called 911. When the ambulance came, he was sobbing uncontrollably beside his girlfriend.

The ambulance man came over and felt for her pulse. Then he stood up and said she was barely alive. Later at the hospital, as he was sitting beside her, he asked her "Why didn't you just give him the ring?"
And she softly replied "Because when you gave it to me, you said it was a symbol of your love for me and I was afraid that if I gave him the ring, I would lose that love." The girl passed away the next morning with the ring still on her finger.

The Last Hug

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)

Girl: Slow down. I'm scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
(Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can u take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it meant he would die.

From the Start..

When I was six years old I met him in the playground and he came up to me with a daisy, just the one, and knelt on both knees and asked me to marry him. So I pushed him over then ran away. Two days later he came over and asked if he could play cops and robbers with me and from that day on we played everyday.

At 11 on my first day of Secondary school I was so nervous but at lunch time he came to find me, and we sat down and ate lunch together. We did this everyday for an entire year. You were the first person I told about everything, about my crushes, about my lessons and about all the people I hated, and when I was 13 and thought I was the only one who had never been kissed, you offered to show me how, and by the tree in your back garden we shared our first kiss.

At 15 we went to our first proper house party, and I got drunk. Even though I made a fool of myself you were there to help me stand strong. You didn't judge and you didn't make fun.

Over the next year we began to separate, made different friends. I got my first serious boyfriend and you went through quite a few girlfriends. And then it got to May and that meant the prom. Everything had been arranged, I'd been getting my outfit for months and then the day before I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me. The first person I turned to was you. You turned up at my door with a bouquet of roses and a vintage 1950's car.
I laughed that night and I cried that night

We had three glorious years together, when everyday I would smile. Even on the last day, when your mother stood up, in the church in front of your coffin and began reading from your diary:
"I saw you when I was six stood by the bench in a blue checked dress and daisy shoes and I needed to give an other daisy just because.... Because i loved you from that day on"

Love Query

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
he said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....
and he said no.

She asked him if he liked her ....
he said no

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face,
the boy grabbed her arm and said... You're not pretty, you're beautiful.

I dont want to be with you forever I NEED to be with you forever.

i DonT LikE YOU I LOVE YOU

And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

Meaning of Kisses

It depends on where you were kissed :


Kiss on the hand   - I adore you.
Kiss on the cheek - I just want to be friends.
Kiss on the chin    - You are cute!
Kiss on the neck   - I want you.
Kiss on the lips     - I love you.
Kiss on the ears    - Let's have some fun.
Kiss anywhere else - You're the best.

Fate

There was a scholar who was to marry his fiancee, but on 

the day of marriage, his fiancee changed her mind and 

married someone else. The scholar was devastated and fell 

ill. His family seek all kinds of medical treatment for 

him, but still he showed no sign of recovery. They were

about to give up hope on him when a wandering monk 

passed by.

After learning about the scholar's condition, the monk

walked to the scholar's bed and took out a mirror for the

dying man to see. In the mirror,the scholar saw a vast 

ocean,and the naked body of a murdered wooman lay on the

beach. A man passed by, looked at the body, shook his 

head and left.

Another man who passed by saw the body, took off his robes

to cover the body and left. Finally came a man passing by

who saw the body, dug a hole and laid the body carefully

to rest before burying it. The scene in the mirror 

suddenly changed. The scholar saw his fiancee in a 

nuptial chamber and another man was lifting her wedding 

veil...
The scholar blinked at the monk, confused. Slowly the 

monk explained,"The woman whose body you saw on the beach

was your fiancee in her previous life. In your previous 

life, you were the second man who gave her his robes to

cover her body. 

To repay your kindness in this lifetime,she loved you for

a period of time and became your fiancee. However,

the man whose favor she has to return for the rest of her

life is the third man who buried her. And that man is now

her husband." Enlightened, the scholar sat up and recovered

from his depression.

It is truly amazing -- this thing called"Fate".There was

a movie in which the theme song went like this: "You can

say it is a big world, you can say it is a small world. 

But for the promise of this lifetime, we shall spend 

our entire lives to fulfil."

All of us are in this big grand masquerade, among the

throng of people, we seek expectantly... in that 

electrifying moment when our fingers touch,the masks 

are removed to reveal our true selves. Before this moment,

we were drifting aimlessly,not knowing what we really 

wanted. Till you meet this particular person, you finally

realize what you really want is not what you have

wished for in the first place.
It amazes you that standing in front of this person

is a different you!

You without any mask! Fate is not something meant to 

be forced upon. What is yours will eventually come 

to your arms; what is not yours will never come to be.

In any case, we should not lose heart and give up on

our hopes for a love that is true, good and beautiful.

The value of life, in a certain sense,is determined 

by the maturity of how we love. 

Of how we give and accept love.

Treasure what you have...

Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;

Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...Time is Eternity!